How Motherhood has Changed Me. Or Not.

A few weeks ago I was at lunch with a friend who I haven’t seen nearly enough of in the last year or so. In our excited babble of catching up, she blurted out that she was surprised that I was the “same person” and that motherhood hasn’t really seemed to change me.

What’s funny is that this wasn’t the first time someone has said this to me since I had my son.

It seems to come mostly from my single friends, but it’s as if once I popped a baby out of my hooha I was supposed to suddenly become this different person. I don’t know who… maybe some kind of crazed woman who wears eyeliner on just one eye and is only interested in talking about playgroups and the contents of a baby’s diaper?

You’re probably rolling your eyes at how stereotypical that sounds, but honestly isn’t it just weird that you are expected to change into a different person, just because you created one?

Frankly, there ARE a few ways I’ve changed since having Jack.

I now realize that there is no shame in the game of understanding that work is just work. After spending the first 15 years of my career climbing as quickly as I could to the top, it’s rather nice to sit back and do my job without that GO-GO-GO feeling nipping at my heels.

Most of the time, I don’t feel guilty when I say ‘no’ to someone. My time is valuable to me and it’s valuable to my family, so I will always choose my husband and son over pretty much ANYTHING else.

Having my son helped me realize the importance of having quality friends, over just having a large quantity of friends. It hurt to realize that some of the people I thought were in my life for the long haul were actually just “takers” who faded away. However, while I may mourn the death of those relationships, I will not beat myself up over the fact that they are over.

So how haven’t I changed? Well, lots of ways… apparently. I still like to shower on a regular basis and have pretty toenails even though I guess some people feel like a mom shouldn’t spend a moment on herself. Also, I’m still not what you would call a “kid person.” Don’t get me wrong, I love MY kid. I just don’t have that love that some people have for ALL kids. It’s totally okay when my own kid gets me all sticky, tries to yank my necklace off my neck and babbles on constantly. However, if someone else’s kid gets all up in my personal space, I’ll probably make an excuse to get up and move to somewhere less, um… sticky.

There you have it – I’m a mom AND I’m still me. Earth shattering, isn’t it?

Tell me, how are you still the same as you were before kids? How did you change?

Like what you see? Share me with your friends!

Tot Swap, Take 3

I wrote about my first visit to the Tot Swap here and my second over here. Like last time, I wasn’t really planning to write about the Tot Swap again, however I went yesterday and scribbled down some tips that I think might be beneficial to some other shoppers out there.

truck
Look at this truck — it’s totally adorable and a little bad-ass at the same time! Source: Amazon.com

At this month’s event, I was really hoping to find the Little Tikes Crazy Coupe Truck. We live out in the country and my husband is a car/truck kinda guy, so I’m pretty much obsessed with this cool kiddie truck. Not only can I push Jack around in it now, when he gets a little bigger I can remove the footplate so he can ride around in it alone and play pretend with the working tailgate and gas cap. I saw on the Tot Swap’s Facebook page that a consigner was planning to have one for sale, so when I entered the building (after standing in a long, long line of excited shoppers) I briskly walked straight to the outdoor toys section. Nope. No truck – so it looks like I’ll continue stalking Craigslist and online sales.

I did have some luck finding a Little Tikes Deluxe Cozy Convertible for just $18, so I snapped that up before someone else could lay claim to it. I also got a few pairs of shorts, an adorable t-shirt and a bunch of toys that I can split between our house and my mom’s house for Jack to play with. I’d post pictures of everything, but I got home late from work last night and it’s all still living in my SUV.*

If you are planning to go to your first Tot Swap (or even your 3 or 9th), here are 5 tips to help you survive:

#1. No Kids!
Kids ARE allowed at the Tot Swap, I just think that you should leave them at home. The Tot Swap is super busy and there is a TON of stuff for everyone to go through. When you have small children running around or sitting on/playing with toys that are for sale, it can be very frustrating. Also, parents blocking entire aisles with their huge strollers are not only annoying to other shoppers but it’s hard for them to even get down some of the aisles to shop! Most importantly, it can be dangerous because some rude shoppers shove through the aisles and may knock your child aside without even realizing it.

If you absolutely MUST bring your child, stick him in an Ergo carrier and strap him to you. Oh yeah, and DON’T use him as a weapon when trying to check out something that someone else is trying out! You wouldn’t believe how many times I was body-checked with an infant! So if you have someone who can watch your kids, use them. Maybe even do a little trade – watch your friend’s kid while she shops and then switch off so that she can watch yours. It’s not only a benefit to the other shoppers; it’s nice for YOU because you don’t have to hear “mom, mom MOM, MOM MOMMY, I WANT THIS!!” 15,000 times.

#2. Know What You Want
These consignment sales can be incredibly overwhelming; there are aisles and aisles of toys, children’s clothes, strollers, and more. Before you even enter the building, go through what you have at home and make a list of what you need. Determine the ‘hot item’ on your list and go straight there first! Even though I had some clothes and toys on my list, I KNEW that outdoor toys would be really popular since the weather is finally starting to get warm. So I went straight there and STILL hardly had anything to choose from!

#3 Price Check
All of the items at the Tot Swap are being sold by different people and many times there are multiples of each item. For example, there were probably 20 of the exact same Leap Frog toy that I liked. Check out a few of them, instead of just grabbing the first one you see. Often some will be missing pieces and others will include a complete set. There are also always differences in sale prices, since everyone is labeling their own items for sale. In the stack of Leap Frog toys, the prices ranged from $5 – 15 for the exact same toy!

#4 Shop for Gifts
There are always a ton of items that are for sale in their original, unopened packaging. It’s insane that a brand new item is being sold at a Tot Swap for more than half off its normal price. If you have little people that you’re buying for (think about any upcoming birthday’s or holidays), it is a good idea to pick up a few things while you’re sorting through the stuff.

#5 Be Nice
Look ladies (and the few men who come), this is not war. You’re trying to find inexpensive kids toys and clothes and if you miss out on something there is NO REASON to be a total asshat about it. Be nice. Chat with the other people in line with you and say “excuse me” as you squeeze past your fellow shoppers.

There you go, I don’t think I could possibly have anything else to say about the Tot Swap after my THIRD post on the subject. Maybe I’ll just call it a trilogy and pretend that was my intention the entire time?

How about you – do you go to consignment sales or yard sales? Share your tips in the comments!

*Some of the musical/talking toys don’t have an off button and I scared the crap out of myself on my ride into work this morning when a few of them would randomly go off and sing to me in a creepy-pedophile-in-my-backseat kind of way.

Like what you see? Share me with your friends!

Tips on Traveling with a One Year Old

As I mentioned a couple days ago, our little family took a trip to Florida last week. The weather was beautiful and I totally didn’t want to come home, but alas money must be made and mortgages must be paid so we’re back now.

What I didn’t realize when we left was that there are so many differences in traveling on a plane/taxi/hotel with a kid that is just 6 months older than the last time you took a trip. So, I’ve put together an easy peasy little breakdown of what worked for us

traveling tips

And yes, I know that these particular tips won’t necessarily work for EVERYONE… which is why I’m preceding them with the title of What Worked for US. Take it with a grain of salt, or try some of the things that we tried and hopefully the world will be a happier place. Or something like that.

Traveling by Plane
Why does your kid turn into an angry octopus ninja the moment that you try to get him to sit on your lap on a plane? Wait, is that just my kid?! The fact that kids under 2 can fly free as a “lap baby” is awesome, but you may be asking yourself if it was really worth it by time you reach your destination.

What worked for us:

  • Food. Not just any food though, the kind of non-messy individual portioned food that you can feed your kid like a baby bird. No, not by chewing it up in your mouth and spitting it in theirs (and yes, I know the Clueless girl totally did this with her kid), but by handing it over piece by piece directly into their mouth. I packed a bag of cheerios and a bag of cheddar goldfish and they worked fantastically.
  • Toys. Or more specifically, toys on strings. Because if you god-forbid drop a toy on the floor once you’re in your seat you’re going to have to be a third degree black belt in yoga to get that thing back. I packed a couple little toys (a car, a little nubby talking rattle-type toy and a fuzzy bunny) and tied a string to each one so that I could wrap it around my wrist while Jack was playing with them. And he totally enjoyed throwing the toy on the floor and watching mommy pull it up over and over and over again for what felt like hours. Or for two minutes, which is a long time for a kid.
  • Window seat. The plane was totally full, so there was no way we could block off a whole row to ourselves (drat!). The next best thing was to have me sitting in the window seat with Jack on my lap and Travis in the middle seat. We could keep him contained and he could also look out the windows to watch the guys throw our luggage around.

In our Room
I purposely reserved a room with a separate sitting area with the intentions of setting up the crib in there, giving each of us a little privacy. Yeah, that didn’t work at all. First off, when I called to confirm that they had a crib I didn’t specify that a PLAYPEN is NOT A CRIB! To Jack, a playpen means PLAY TIME while waiting for mommy to get ready for work. So, when we stuck him in a playpen and expected him to sleep at night he was understandably (and loudly) confused and unhappy with our stupidity.

What worked for us:

  • King Bed. Get a king bed, you know… just in case you all end up sleeping there. Because even though it’s quite likely that your kid will still somehow kick you in the neck at 3am, at least you’ll have somewhere to roll to in order to whimper quietly.
  • Childproof. Hotel rooms are not necessarily designed with your kid in mind, so bring your own outlet caps if your kid likes poking his fingers in them. Block the bathroom door with the stroller if you must, in order to slow the kid down from crawling at warp speed to explore the toilet. Also, try to get a room with a bathtub because holding a slippery, naked kid in a shower isn’t for the faint of heart.
  • Toys. You’re probably not going to want to pack your kids entire collection of toys, much less lug it around from the airport. Just pack a few of his favorites and go purchase a cheap sand toy set from a nearby dollar store or CVS. There you go, now you have toys for the room, bath toys and sand toys all in one $5 purchase. If you have room, you can throw them in your suitcase to bring home or just cut your losses and leave them behind.

IMG_1894On the Beach
This was actually Jack’s second visit to the beach, since we went to Ocean City last summer. However, at that point you could just sit him in a tent and leave him there. Now, the kid moves… so it’s a whole new ballgame.

What worked for us:

  • Sunscreen. In my family, we call it “buttering the kids up” and little Jack was buttered from head to toe in sunscreen every single day, whether we were in swimsuits or not. Their skin is more fragile than ours, so don’t take any chances. Also, think about how much you whine when you’re sunburnt and imagine how your kid would react… it’s worth it to spend a few minutes covering them in lotion before you get them dressed.
  • Hat. Yes, your kid needs to wear a sunhat. However, you would think that you were trying to set his hair on fire the way that most of them react when you try to put them on. We used the Distraction Ball technique and as soon as we put the hat on Jack’s head, we immediately thrust a toy or cheddar goldfish into his hand. Boom. Done.
  • Diaper Bag Switchout. I normally carry a super cute Fossil messenger bag as my diaper bag (and yes, my husband carries it too), however, on our trip I changed out to a simple black backpack. One pocket held diapers, wipes and my wallet, the next held a bib and some easy snacks, and the third had a couple small toys. When I had Jack on my back in one of those baby backpack contraptions, my husband had the diaper backpack on his.

At the Restaurants
Let me start with saying that we are incredibly lucky because Jack is totally a restaurant kid. He comes out with us pretty much everywhere and is quite content to chill out in a restaurant high-chair. I totally understand that some kids are not like this and I hear it from my friends (and strangers) that our days are numbered until Jack turns into a total monster out in public. To them I’d like to say: Shut Your Face.

What worked for us:

  • Snack-etizers. Be prepared. If your kid is starving and the food is taking FOREVER, you KNOW that he is going to freak the frack out, right? We always had some cheerios, cheddar goldfish, teddy grahams and those little applesauce packets with us. Just a few pieces at a time are enough distraction (and munchies) to keep Jack happy until the meal arrives.
  • Share. If there is nothing on the kiddie menu that you want to feed your kid (so many restaurants think that all kid’s food needs to be fried), order something for yourself that they can eat. There is always some kind of plain-like chicken or fish that would be healthy and yummy for a kid to eat. You can also usually order an extra veggie side to share. And once again, YES, I KNOW that not every kid likes eating everything. Luckily, we’re still in the stage where Jack likes literally EVERYTHING so he’s content with bites of my fish, green beans and mashed potatoes. Bonus: I eat a lot healthier when I’m ordering for the both of us.
  • BYOB. Jack still gets a bottle first thing in the morning and last thing at night, the rest of the day he drinks out of a straw cup. We bought ONE bottle and ONE cup. That’s it. I put some dishwashing detergent in a little travel bottle and we were good to go.

As I mentioned before, we had an amazing time on our trip which means I’m already planning our next vacation in the back of my mind (don’t tell Travis). However, since Jack is so-very-close to walking I’m sure that our next trip will be a whole horse of a different color.

So chime in on your experiences, what are the best tips you have for traveling with a kid of any age?

Like what you see? Share me with your friends!