My Weekend, Cursing & a Hooha

It finally happened, my husband and I want on a date and it was AWESOME!

I think it was our third time out without Jack since we brought him home from the hospital almost a year and a half ago. And in case you think that means that we never leave the house, let me just clarify – we go out ALL THE TIME with Jack. However, it was pretty fabulous to be able to enjoy a movie and dinner without protecting food/silverware/menus/anything within reaching distance from little hands that like to throw things on the floor.

For our movie, we went to the Landmark theater in Baltimore which is a FANCY movie theater with big, comfy chairs and a bar. Yeah, we were TOTALLY grownups. Of course, we had no idea that there was a crazy soccer game going on in the city at the exact same time as our movie… so we ended up being a bit late. I missed the previews, which makes me sad because I love watching previews SO MUCH. But, we did get to our seats at the very start of The Heat and proceeded to laugh our butts off for the entire movie.

In case you’re not familiar with the movie, here’s the trailer:

Yeah, that phone book throwing part gets me every time! Anyways, since I’m kind of a movie dork, I checked the reviews on Imdb after we saw the movie (which we LOVED by the way, in case that wasn’t clear) and I was shocked that so many people hated it. Mostly because the ladies were “trying to be men” and “cursed too much.”

Um… it was a buddy-cop movie with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in the lead roles, what the poo did you expect? I’m really glad I didn’t bother to read the reviews before we went, because we really did laugh the entire way through the movie. AND I busted out in an extremely ladylike snort at a particular funny moment. This would have totally embarrassed me if my husband weren’t laughing so hard he was scaring people.

After the movie, I was quietly waiting by myself while my husband used the restroom when it happened.

There was an XL lady in an XS dress. It was purple and skin tight… and she shuffled around and raised her arms above her head. I don’t know why I looked, but I did. I think her large thigh tattoo grabbed my attention and then I saw it.

Her hooha. On full display.

It felt like an eternity of time where it stared at me and I stared at it before she nonchalantly tugged her dress back down.

I was on date night with my husband and saw a random hooha. Because, of course I did. I can’t say I’ve seen a bunch of hooha’s in my life, but this one… well, it wasn’t good.

Which is why when my husband exited the restroom and saw my face he immediately asked me what was wrong. I’m not really sure what answer he expected to hear, but “I just saw that woman’s hooha” wasn’t it. In true Travis fashion, he responded with, “of course you did” and dragged me to dinner.

So there you go. We had an amazing date night with a hilarious movie and delicious dinner. And I saw a random woman’s hooha.

How was your weekend? Any unexpected hooha sightings? Can you go out of the house without something awkward happening to you? If so, can you teach me how it’s done?

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Attention Hotels: I have an Amazingly Awesome Marketing Idea

On my drive into work this morning I was thinking how it would be so nice to actually have some time alone with my husband.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I LOVE Jack even more than cookie butter on a spoon and a fresh roasted s’more all rolled into one – but we’ve had TWO date nights in the past 15 months. Momma needs some “not being a momma but a wife” time.

Then it hit me.

Pretty much the most awesome marketing idea that I can’t believe someone isn’t already doing. So if you run a hotel, listen up because I’m about to BLOW YOUR MIND.

You need to offer a “Parents Date Night” package which includes:

  • A beautiful hotel room with a king bed. Not for a whole night though – maybe just four hours (7pm – 11pm would be perfect) because it’s hard to find an overnight babysitter.
  • A fantastic dinner delivered right to the room at a set time. I’m thinking some kind of surf and turf deliciousness with a bottle of chilled wine. Of course there should be some kind of decadent dessert like chocolate covered strawberries. Oh and don’t just shove a room service cart full of food into the room… there needs to be a table set up with a tablecloth and candles.
  • A brochure listing all of the latest movies offered on pay-per-view that parents never get to see. Maybe they can finally see a movie without waiting in line and paying $50 to sit next to some asshat teenager that texts the whole time. Or watch something at a normal volume instead of having their TV on the lowest setting possible so that the fight scenes don’t wake up the kid.
hotel pic
It would be like this — our cruise we took while I was preggo — but fancier. And with more steak.

Imagine it… all you have to do is book the Parent’s Date Night package for Friday night and plan for a babysitter. Grab your spouse, check into the hotel and have a clean and comfy room waiting for you. You get to laze around in a plush hotel robe, have an amazing meal, watch a movie and have some (wink, wink) “grown up” time.

It would truly be like a little 4 hour vacation without really going anywhere. Bonus points if the hotel has a pool.

If this were offered in my area, I’d take advantage of it in a heartbeat. So, if there are any Maryland or DC hotels out there that want to make this idea a reality… please hook a mother up!

How about you, would you want a Parent’s Date Night at a local hotel? What would your ideal package include?

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